Sisters, how would you deal with this situation?


Assalamu Alaikum!
I experienced a lot of frustrations in my life but recently was the worst in my life, the end of my marriage. In these times, Allah (SWT) is showing me His love because despite of the sadness, I still feel inspired to help other people and bring happiness to others.
I just wanted to know what…

May Allah swt help you. Well i know i can’t do much, but you know, sabr ( be patient) It may be Allah swt is testing you..
you know, Allah swt asks the parents what rights they gave to their children, and he asks the children what Rights they gave to their parents. so… Allah knows best what will happen
wa alaikom salam

May Allah help you in your problems. You have shown, masha Allah, great wisdom in quoting the verse. It indicates that you understand what you are into.
However there is a mistake which you did sister. And you really need to think about it. Although me, sitting here thousands of miles away cannot accurately judge, I have an opnion. The root cause was your ex-husband getting married to you without his parents knowledge. After all parents (i mean his) are those whom you can’t just keep ignoring. Allah placed the obedience of parents right after He mentioned His oneness! So they carry gr8 weight in Islam! So, after this, if you get any situation where following your parents will result in going against your own wishes, it doesn’t matter! Just do it! As long as it doesn’t go against Islam of course!
Right now you need to sort messed up things. 1st Have patience (I know you already are, so be steadfast on it!)
2. If reconciliation with his parents is not possible try next best solutions. Like I said I can’t judge sitting here. But Cuz your family is aware of your marriage you may keep the child and he can visit. (Cuz his parents would reject him if he would take him)
All the best sis!

Asslaamu Alaikum sister.
First of all may Allah Subhaan Wata’Allah reward you for your sabbar(patience) and answer your question i really don’t know what i would do if i was in the same situation like you were/are. Because it is hard to answer this situation if you are not experience it. I will remind you and your son in my prayers Insha’Allah. And i think a man isn’t a man if he doesn’t stand up for his wife and son. So your ex husband is in his own country now?
May Allah bless you Amien.
Salaam.

So he is just going to keep hiding his son for the rest of his life? My advice to you is tell him to tell his family, there is no point in hiding this, the truth will come out eventually trust me, better sooner than later. Like you said he’s a man and he should be able to stand firm and be able to tell his family that you are his wife and that this is his son. If they do not accept it, then this is not your problem anymore, they are going to have to deal with it whether they like it or not. Because fact is the marriage was Islamically legitimate and that’s all that matters.

And I also agree with the first answer, take him to court you need child support.

You need to take the clown to the court and hold him accountable for child support. It is his obligation to pay. This is the civil law and under Islam too. He must pay for his share of the support till the child reaches the age of maturity. Usually 18 years of age. (might be lower under Islam), but go with whatever gets the child the most benefits. That is his right. Under various circumstances the wife, too, is entitled to support (in U.S. usually for half the length of time of marriage).

He has not been a good husband and is not being responsible as a father. Sometimes, it requires the force of law to hold people accountable.

I am not a sister, but a brother, yet this is irrelevant. Yours and your child’s rights come first.

Wallah sister, I couldn’t help tear up at this. May Allah(swt) reward you for your patience, and InshaAllah help you through this difficult time. I can only imagine what is going through you, I really don’t know what to say… InshaAllah I will make sincere Dua for you and your child, and may the best happen for the both of you.
Keep strong sister, InshaAllah everything will be fine, Ameen.

walekum salam
wa iyak

that is why it is said by our elders and also adviced by Nabi (saws) to marry one who is active in religiousness -i.e is religious.

examine with the family about the one whom u marry i.e both family sit together and ask and share questions and information, bride and groom shud see each other before nikah.

give him the benefit of the doubt sis, maybe speak with his parents in private and see they might be so bad as he thinks.. maybe he really loves you and is struggling
sister there is so many people that actually dont believe in honour killing’s… but if your scared fair enough.. i wish you the best sis from my heart xx
take good care of the little one

may Allah swt help u thru this difficult times…ameen

take him to court, ask the judge for a DNA test, use marriage papers as proof that he was with you, get child support

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