Is this normal in a long-term relationship?

I’ve been together with my girllfriend for just over 4 years and I love her to bits. She’s a really lovely person and I love being with her and cuddling her and going out with her etc……..but I just don’t seem to want to have sex with her any more. It’s like everything is perfect up to the point…

I’d say so. me and my partner have been together 3 years and sex as got really boring. try spicing it up a little. A bit of bondage is fun. or even just get and eye mask for her and surprise her. or vice versa. it’s around now that the effort has to be put in.

Yeah your at an age where you probably want to slow things down, maybe focus on a carear or having a family (that does come with age and maturity)

You girlfriend on the other hand is still really young and is probably still finding out what she wants, more content just having fun.

Often age gaps arent an issue (between my husband and i there is 4 years, which has never caused any issues for us) But for some people age does represent maturity levels and the stage of life you are at. If sex is becoming a chore for you then its clear you either want something more in your life or you have gone off your girl, im guessing from the fact you love her to bits that its more likely that you want something more.. a next step such as family.

Talk to her about this work out her feelings, if things dont pick up then perhaps time apart would be good to gain some perspective and work out if being with other people is more ‘exciting’ for you or whether when you are apart she is still all you think about.

☆Hope that Helps ☆
☆Good Luck☆


I am in a 5 yr relationship and we went throught a period like that, we seperated for about 2 months because we argued so much and realized we couldn’t live without each other.. we just love each other so much, this was about 2 and 1/2 years ago.. I am not recommending breaking up but just take the time appreciate her and analyze your relationship.. and talk about letting go of the past because it’s obviously still hurting her if she keeps bringing it up.. good luck!

its completly normal dude and story be told, she likely fantasices about mother men while in bed with you. everybody does it, all couples do but nobody really talks about it. you’re getting into middle age, not exactly old, but at a time where most men get married and settle down, its normal that your sex drive is a little slower and it may take you a little more time to get aroused. why dont you guys try something new? take a mini vacation, buy her some fun lingerine, watch a raunchy video together. have no boundaries. sex is supposed to be fun, not a chore. if you can’t be honest and open in the sack then i dont think you really love and understand her.

Think about this: You say that she’s a lovely person and you love being with her and blah blah blah, but do you still find her attractive? It’s not really that shallow. No relationship can really survive if all the heat disappears out of it. Look at her in a new light if you have to. If you really love her, remind yourself what attracted you to her (physically, i mean) in the first place all the time ago.

Yes it can go a bit stale after a while, you have to ask yourself if you are attracted to her, have you maybe got depression as this can affect your sex drive; if it is a CHORE to make love to your girlfriend and finish by thinking about others; then I really think you need to sit down and listen to yourself and find out what you really want.

Yea I would say its normal. People get used to eachother after a while and you sound bored. Would you wanna have sex with her if she was willing to try new things? Its great that you two have been together for so long but you need to continue to show her affection so she doesn’t feel bad about herself.

It’s normal if you are bored with your partner sexually. Happens in marriage all the time. Try having sex in the afternoon, during lunch, anytime but bedtime. If you wait too long on a workday, chances are you are just tired.

Maybe she has you boxed into a very boring sex routine. My ex was very lazy sexually, and she only wanted it a certain way, at a certain time, under her conditions. I completely lost interest. Anyone would.

This is not normal. You need to get some Viagra. I tried it but had to quit because it kept giving me a stiff neck. I can’t figure that out. But maybe you will have better luck.

I’ve heard somewhere that this is normal for men, just try to make an effort for her sake women have needs too.

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