12 Year old boy bed wetting?

My 12 year old brother in law wets his bed everyday. We are taking medication for it right now. He stays with us, and does not wet the bed when he is staying with his mom. Any solutions?

first off, here’s an infopage on “nocturnal enuresis” (night-time bedwetting): http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Nocturnal_e…

from that page: “Bedwetting is the most common childhood urologic complaint [1] and one of the most common pediatric-health issues.[2] Most bedwetting, however, is just a developmental delay—not an emotional problem or physical illness. Only a small percentage (5% to 10%) of bedwetting cases are caused by specific medical situations.[3] Bedwetting is frequently associated with a family history of the condition.[4]”

secondly, you say he doesnt’ wet the bed at his mother’s. are you SURE he really doesn’t or is it that his mother is not telling you about it or maybe the boy has the opportunity to hide it from her?

if he really doesn’t wet the bed at his mother’s but does at yours, i take the opposite view: it could be that he sleeps more deeply at your place and can’t wake up when he needs to but at his mother’s, he might be more anxious about it and thus doesn’t fall into a proper, restful sleep.

an example of this: i snore. i mean, i snore BADLY. it’s horrible, how loud i am. when i lived in an apartment, the neighbours had to move their bedroom because they could hear me through the wall! when i started sleeping with my ex, i was mortified because i kept waking him up. i learned to never really actually get to sleep – i would constantly monitor myself and if i felt myself slipping too deep and starting to snore, i’d wake myself up again. to this day, he wonders why my family cracks jokes about my snoring – as far as he knows, i never snored except when i was pregnant “and you expect that kind of thing when a woman is pregnant”.

Well, has he done this since childhood? If so, he’s probably seen a doctor about it and it’s probably a developmental issue. (Which will go away on its own eventually)

If it’s more recent, then it may have a pathological cause, like an infection. It’s worth getting him a clean bill of health from a doctor regarding this.

Not wetting the bed when he’s with his mom points to a psychological problem. Stress can cause bedwetting, and he could be stressed at other places for many reasons. Some people wet the bed only when they’re away from home.

In any case, you should support him. The worst thing you can do is to get angry at him for something he can’t control. As for solving the problem, if the cause is not pathological then it can only be treated, not cured. If I may hazard a guess, the medication he’s taking reduces urine production. You might consider having him wear “absorbent underwear” (diapers, if you’re not into euphemisms) which would make it much less of a problem as he could easily change himself in the morning and it would prevent any wet beds. There’s many options available for him, including Goodnites, Underjams, and Depends. Only do this if he’s willing to try it, of course.

If it happens in one place but not the other, this almost certainly anxiety driven. Also, staying with you may disrupt his nighttime routine, leaving him with a fuller bladder and more disrupted sleep (so he is less likely to wake up when he needs to void his bladder).

Try moving him toward a more regular bedtime routine, and try not to make him more anxious about it.

It will pass.

But please take a look at how the divorce is affecting him. This is an indicator that he is stressed.

Maybe he drinks alot of water before bed, it made me wet my bed before

follow up with a urologist & avoid shaming him. schedule weekly counseling sessions.

Try this link


I would limit his drinks at night.

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