Especially since I became pregnant. I am seven months now and I can’t stand her making one more rude comment. I asked if she wanted to invite her friends to the shower my sister is throwing me and she said she would be embarressed b/c they would be obligated to bring a present. She just sent me an e-mail and…
The first time I was pregnant, I wasn’t married, so my (now) MIL said she didn’t want to be part of the shower because she ‘didn’t know if her family would accept a bastard child’.
She then went on to tell me that her family only throws one shower per person (her son, my husband), and since we weren’t going to get married before the baby was born, she didn’t want to ruin her son’s chances of having a shower for his future wife.
She also constantly pointed out how I was eating too much and gaining too much weight.
After our son was born, she acted like it was HER greatest accomplishment. She constantly ignored me when I told her ‘The doctor said no food until he’s 6 months old’ or ‘The doctor said no water until he’s a year old’. She fed him mashed potatoes at 5 mos old, and promptly gave him a bottle of water because she ‘didn’t want him getting too fat’, you know, like me.
Good as her word, she didn’t throw me a shower when I got pregnant (after I’d gotten married) even though I was having two girls instead of another boy, and couldn’t afford to buy anything for my preemie newborns. By this time my son was 5. And she’s feeding my twins tapioca pudding, because ‘it’s better for them than all the carbs they get from corn and peas’. EXCUSE ME? SINCE WHEN IS PUDDING MORE NUTRITIOUS FOR 11 MO OLD BABIES THAN VEGETABLES?!? Plus she ignores everything I say about formula (they should be on whole milk by now, her brother grew up on cow’s milk and he’s fine).
You’re not alone, just remember that. For some reason, MILs are horrid b*tches. Not all of them, just the ones that were brought up in the mindframe ‘mom knows best’. Like my MIL.
I want to strangle her.
Best of luck to you, and relax as much as you can; stress can cause early labor and hurt the baby!
Wow.. I thought my mother in-law was a ***** when I was pregnant… My mother in law wanted to control my every move while I was pregnant.. She even showed up at my doctors unannounced and asked my doctor questions as if she was my power of attorney or something.. It was funny though because he wouldn’t tell her nothing.. So, we stopped talking to her for 4 years, and just recently started talking to her again and everything is great between us.. So, my question to you is how does your husband feel about this? Does he know that she is treating you like this? You too need to come to an understanding that she can’t treat you like this.. There needs to be a meeting where you are both with your mother in law and inform her that she can’t treat you like this, and you both need to be on the same page… So there is no body saying, well I don’t know about this.. Next, are you having a girl? Does she have a daughter? Because if the first answer is yes and the second no, then she is jealous… That’s what was wrong with my mother in law.. She had two boys and my first child was a girl.. She tried to take my daughter and raise her as if she was hers… So that could be the problem with her.. But enough is enough.. You don’t need the stress… So, please have a meeting and have your husband help you to take care of this problem.. If you don’t it will only get worse… Take care and Good luck!
Don’t ever let her babysit, especially if she’s already put you and the baby in danger by making you skip meals while pregnant. Where was your husband or father-in-law when this happened. Not that you can’t stand up for yourself, but does everyone just go along with her in her crazy ideas? She’s probably totally jealous her son has more than her to worry about right now. A lot of husbands’ mothers get crazy when their baby boys have a wife (because they aren’t number one any more and someone else can make them happy) and then when their boys have kids, they think the kids are their own and they can tell you what to do and how to raise them like you don’t have a fully-functional brain and access to better medical care and advice than they ever could have dreamed of when they were having us.
The bottom line is people are selfish. In laws can be bad about ignoring their son/brother’s wife for years and dismissing them as a non issue or treating them like an outsider. But, the minute a baby gives his/her first cry they want to play super family. It is annoying, and it is rude – but such is life. I hear ALL the time about how much my il’s miss my baby. The one they NEVER call and check on, or bother to do anything for. I have also learned that many people have unhealthy relationships and distorted views of love. The way I handle it is to understand that in their own weird way, they do love my son. I find it odd that they can love him without loving me because of course, my son didn’t drop out of the sky. But, I let them know they can visit when the like because I do want my child to know who he is, despite what I think about them. All they can do is play with him and go home, so no real harm there. The other person is right, people do just love babies. But, common sense would say if they had taken the time to get to know you BEFORE baby arrived, they would likely not have to miss him because you would naturally desire to spend time with them because you were in relationship. I can only hope that they will be a much better grandma/aunt/uncle than mil/sil/bil.
That is SO sad!!! I am so sorry she is putting you through all of this. What is her issue??? Honestly, I would cut her out- no emails, no phone calls, etc. Have your husband call when the baby is born, but keep her visits short- very short. If she is so mindful of how things “look” then perhaps she can explain to her friends why she never sees her grandchild. If she asks what’s up, I would tell her point blank- your feelings are hurt, and you will not allow it any longer.
I am really sorry this is happening to you in a time that should be so happy!
What a witch! Can not believe that she would make you skip lunch. It is hard enough for a preggo woman to miss snacks let alone whole meals!! She had at least one baby and should at least vaugly remember how awful. If I didnt eat i would get so onry, and could not really move. You were only trying to include her in the shower and also allow her to bring people for her to socialize with. I am sorry your mother in law is such a jerk. Mine was so much help to me.
Maybe you sholuld find some resource and email to her the importance of snacking and nurishing her grandchild! hmmpphhh, sympathy to you!
Your mother in law has no interest in being a part of your life. I would stop calling, emailing and doing for her. If you need to see her I would be nice but keep my distance. This is a much nicer way to live then to be at war on a daily basis. If she comes around great if not that’s OK to . Either way you avoid the drama
Oh, you too? I think they get that way because you took there son from them and now his attention will be more to you and the baby. She’s just a jealous, bitter old bag. Don’t let her get you down. You have so much to look forward to with your precious little baby coming soon. The last thing you need is stress from her. Just ignore her and with any luck she’ll go away. It will be her loss to be separated from the family. Doesn’t she want to see her grand baby without it being uncomfortable? Congratulations to you and your hubby. Good luck with taming the old battle ax!
Oh my..Is your hubby a mama’s boy? Sounds like she may be jealous of the situation. It’s one thing when a mother’s son get’s married now you’re pregnant so she’s really lost the control of him she once had. I’d take her off the e-mail too and if she wants updates she can ask. I can’t believe she told you you could wait to eat like that?! Having been pregnant 3 times when you need to eat you NEED to eat…sheesh. Hope it gets better for you! And if not let hubby deal with her, you have enough to worry about right now =}
We should really become friends! LOL. My mother is law is the saem, if not worse. It has gotten so bad that we have ended communication with her this year. The problem was that she was no longer the dominate woman in the family. I was having a baby, and passing on teh family name, and all teh attetnion was on me. She couldnt handle that. That was 4 years ago. This have goten worse since then. Seriously, confront her in person about teh way you feel. Be honest. The best wa yfor her to change is for her to knwo what she needs to change. If she doesnt change, then just ignore her, as bad as that sounds.