I’m just curious if your husband still makes you feel beautiful. My husband and I have been married for a year now and some things have changed. I used to weigh 87 lbs and 2 months after we got married I started gaining weight. Then I found out that I had Hyperthyroidism that one of the symptoms is gaining…
If you have Hyperthyroidism….. they should have put you on some medication… that will help control the situation.
if your heart is beating at 140, when you are doing nothing….. GET IN AND SEE ANOTHER DOCTOR…. this is not healthy.
if your heart beats at 140 when working out…. great…. mine is normally around 160 when I work out.
your doctor should also be able to give you something that should control the unwanted weight gain.
If you haven’t already done so…. I suggest you go and get a second opinion on your…. Hyperthyroidism.
How tall are you? I can’t imagine 87 lbs being a healthy weight for anyone older than oh 13 or maybe 4’6″. That is an unrealistic weight for a woman really no matter her height. My husband tells me all the time that I am beautiful and sexy and he SHOWS me that he feels this way. This is after having just given birth to our daughter 8 months ago and gaining 30 lbs.
It’s time to take a look at the man you married…he sounds incredibly shallow and obsessed with appearances. Do you want to spend the rest of your life on a scale afraid your husband will leave you?
I tell my better half almost everyday that she’s beautiful. I don’t care that she’s not the size she was when we met, I’m not either! And I have a lot less hair than I did back then, too. Even though she deflects my compliments from time to time, it’s because I know she’s not entirely happy with her shape (I’m not happy with mine either, for what it’s worth). Regardless of all that, I still make a point of expressing to her as often as possible that I still KNOW she’s beautiful and she still turns me on (perhaps more now than ever). People can quote their wedding vows all they want, “for better or worse”, etc., but what really matters is that you’re together for the right reason…the fact that you still love each other…all of each other.
I’m sorry to say this, but it seems to me that your husband is a superficial a*s. He is criticizing your physical shape when you yourself are dealing with the physical and emotional effects of a medical condition; I cannot believe he could be that callous, nor could I even begin to imagine myself ever saying things like that to my spouse if she was enduring something similar.
Honestly, I think you should ask him, point blank, if he was only ever interested in your petite self with no interest in any other part of you that makes you the woman you are. If he says yes, then don’t endure any more of this…free yourself. If he is shocked at your question, then ask him if he’s ever paid attention to the things he’s saying about your body and the threats of leaving you if you get ‘big”. Tell him that hurts; hopefully he’ll realize what he’s said and also come to believe that as your husband and lover, you need his love and support, and with that, you’ll always be the beautiful woman he married.
Besides, who is he kidding? Is he that big of an idiot that he thinks he’s always going to be the young, handsome hunk you married?
HA!!! He’ll get old and wrinkly just like my sweetie & I will – but who cares – we’ll be doing it together!!!
After 13 years and two kids, my husband STILL DOES call me beautiful nearly every day. But then, I haven’t gained a pound since I got married or had kids.
I don’t think that looks is all that matters to your husband, but you have to remember that he was attracted to you at 87 lbs. He probably still loves you to death, but he doesn’t love the physical part now that it’s changed.
You’ve gained 1/4 of your previous weight, that’s pretty significant, so don’t be so hard on him. I can understand you being upset at his comment, but men just really don’t think logically sometimes.
By the way, please don’t blame hyperthyroidism for your weight gain. Thyroid problems (or the medication to alleviate the problems) may make you gain weight, but it’s up to five pounds. You are talking about a 21-lb gain. So you’ve still gained a good 16 lbs that is not due to the thyroid problem.
You even said yourself that you started to gain nearly immediately (2 months) after you got married. Why? It may not be fair of him to call you names, but it’s also not fair for you to attract a man one way and then once he’s caught to let yourself go.
That all being said, how tall are you? Your weight is a low amount to most women, but if you are quite short, then that changes things.
For instance, if you are 4’7″ or shorter and 108 lbs, then you are considered overweight by the BMI calculators. Of course if you are 5’7″ and weight 108, then you are underweight by the calculator. Your weight means nothing unless it is compared to your height.
Yes, my husband goes to all the extremes to let me know and make me feel beautiful.
I can’t possibly imagine that you are fat, you don’t sound like it at all. Have you told him this hurt you? Why didn’t you know this before you got married?
You need to seriously think about this, what if you have children? Do you want to have a daughter that will grow up with a poor self image because her daddy insults her mom all the time and thinks that only Skinny is beautiful?
I wish yo the best of luck and hope everything works out for you for the best.
My husband has never used to work beautiful but he calls me a cutie all the time. I didn’t hear it so much when I was pregnant or right after I had the baby. I had gained almost 60lbs with my pregnancy and have lost the bulk of it. My weight now is in my boobs and that hip/@$$/thigh area and it’s well proportioned with my height.
In our marriage, we practice absolute honesty. We don’t tell each other things that the other wants to hear, simply because they want to hear it. So, if my husband didn’t think I was still cute, he wouldn’t say so. He wouldn’t soup my head up just to make me feel better. My husband is somewhat like yours. He feels like if he wanted a big girl, he would’ve married one. He’d never threatened to leave me or anything like that but he does hope that I try to remain the size I was when I first met him. I know he’d love me unconditionally but knowing I have his love isn’t enough for me. I want his lust too. It’s important to me that in addition to him loving me, he finds me hot and sexy too. Hot and sexy is what gets a man aroused, not love. Love keeps him in house. Lust keeps in him the bed.
You’ve admitted that you’ve gained weight. I’m unsure why you’d think that your husband wouldn’t notice it, if you do. Unless he’s blind, he’s going to see it. Looks do matter a lot. Without any physical and sexual attraction, you have nothing more than a friendship. So, to me, that’s about 50% of the relationship. He can tell you you’re beautful but it’d be a lie if he didn’t actually think you were. If he doesn’t like the weight gain, he won’t find you beautiful. It doesn’t mean he’s not going to view you as a good person. He’s going to accept you as you are but without him feeling that you’re beautiful, the only truthful comments would be about your cooking or your personality. Neither one of those has to do with any physical compliments, which is what it seems like you want. Rather than look at this with your feelings on your sleeve, look at it objectively and ask yourself if you want him to just tell you what you want to hear or do you want him to be honest.
Honestly my husband tells me I’m beautiful everyday (well pretty darn close). He really is a great guy. I am thankful everyday we met.
Your husband sounds like a jerk. No offense. 87 lbs! I hope your under 5 ft. tall!! Does he have the body of a greek God? He better since he’s so judgmental.
What is going to happen when you get pregnant and gain weight? Is he gonna demand that you can only gain a certain amount, or expect when you leave the hospital you will magically be under 100lbs again! You have a tough decision to make.
Sounds like he is all in it for the looks. You deserve someone who will love you for YOU. NOT your looks. Good luck!
I have been married for 19 years and during that time I have weighed as much as 100lbs more than when we got married. During every phase of our marriage my husband has shown me and told me how beautiful he thinks I am at ANY given weight. I even asked him when I was at my heaviest if it was a turn off that I was so fat. He replied, “I think YOU are beautiful, no mattter what package you come in, big or small.” I now am within 25lbs of what I was when we got married and he is always telling me how sexy and beautiful I am, just the same as he has always done.
I am sorry that you husband cannot see past the package to the present underneath. I wish you luck in your marriage….especially if you have kids when your body changes a lot and you never quite look the same as before the pregnancy. Please do NOT let him make you feel bad about yourself, love yourself for who you are.
Yes he does, all the time. Everyday, he’ll say something like cutie, you have gorgeous eyes, you’re beautiful etc.. I know he means it, because he loves me for me.
If my husband was the type of husband whom was only with me for looks, then he would have divorce me long time ago. When we first met 10yrs ago weighed 115 (which is skinny for me). Now, lets just say I gained weight. It doesn’t bother him. He loves me no matter what size I am.
That’s not right for your husband to act that way towards you. I don’t know how tall you are or your frame size but I think 108lbs is fine and also a bit too skinny depending on your height and all.
You don’t deserve a man like your husband to treat you like that. You deserve a man who is happy for who you are….not matter what size you are.
Whoa Nelly! First, you and your husband can’t possibly expect you to stay at 87lbs. That doesn’t even seem healthy to me. How tall are you? Anyway. I took a Marriage Dynamics class and looks are important, I don’t think he saying that it is the only thing that matters to him. Although he really shouldn’t ever threaten divorce for such a thing. I think both of you should take that class and keep communication open. You both sound a bit immature. Good luck.