I am 18 years old , single. I am an opera singer and put a lot of importance on my career….but I want to have my own son….I know someone who is willing to act as doner. I am financially comfortable!!! I am not pregnant yet but want to become so….any advice from other mums. I am quite serious about this, i…
Now don’t shout at me… or laugh……….but have you listened to The Archers on Radio 4?
Because right now there’s a story line on there with a young woman who is choosing to have a child on her own. No partner.
The only difference bet wen her… and the you that is portrayed here…is your age.
Because you have money and have done stuff, you think that you are mature and ready and can cope and it’s OK.
Were I your mum I’d be saying, how about waiting a while?
You are only just about now an adult
( sorry, maybe not what you wanted to hear, but you did ask!)
Are you ready to put a baby first for the rest of your life, right now? That means in front of your career, your ability to just go out and have fun, your ability to afford and wear good clothes, your ability to help your friends when they need, your ability to spend time to yourself, the ability to be free to go when and where you want etc. If you have a baby, that is what you should be prepared to do. Also, is it fair to the baby? You are barely an adult yourself and are you ready to raise a child and do a good job and always put the child first and work hard at it. A baby is not something you just do and manage. I think if you don’t think you could be married, you are probably not ready for such an intense relationship as a mother as you would seriously be involved with that baby and child. I don’t think you are crazy, but you are possibly a bit niaive about this. Also, there is the donor to consider. What if they change their mind about how they fit in this situation? They would be the father of this baby, not just a donor. I think you should wait at least until you are 21 and see if you still feel the same way. I bet life will have changed for you in that time, and your outlook on life will have changed too. Good luck.
I think it’s a bad idea. Your career will be hindered by your choice to have a child alone, and you may not be so “financially comfortable” after all. You will also miss out on the fun of the tail end of your teen years, and your early 20s. It will also be harder to go to university, if you choose to do so.
I think it’s kind of unfair as such a young person not to give this child at least a chance at a stable, two parent home. That’s what most of us want for our kids.. and sometimes it doesn’t work out and that’s too bad.. by why not just wait?
It will also be harder for you to date if you have a child. You have your whole life ahead of you to have children. Maybe you will want a husband.
You’re only 18. You don’t know everything and you can’t predict what you’ll want later in life. Don’t rush into anything you can’t get out of.
Although you say you are only 18 y.o you sound quite mature and ready to be a parent to me!
I don’t like the idea of you using a donor though. You cannot really say that you don’t have intention to be with someone. Love happens! I really think you should wait a bit longer before you are in a stable relationship. A child is happiest with both parents!
There is also the point about babies being real hard work! Why do not you get a puppy or cat (Yes!!) if you have so much love to give, and also see if caring for it fits in with you career etc.
Ultimately it is your choice to become a single parent…it is very hard to be one because children really need both parents and its difficult to have the time and dedication to be both. Especially for boys, it is important that they have a father figure and learn how to be “man” persay. If you aren’t looking to be in a relationship, maybe consider a friend to be a godfather and be there for your child. Honestly, I got married at 19 and was pregnant 6 months later. I was so scared because we just started out. I ended up having a stillbirth, but there isn’t one day that goes by i don’t wish he was here with me. Having a child is the greatest miracle and gift in this world. Also, you need to consider are you traveling for your career? would your child go with you? what about schooling? or would you have to leave him behind for months at a time? and are you still living with your parents or on your own? Also, think too because my husband and I went through this since we are so young. No one around us our age are married or want children so we go out with people in their 30’s. can you handle your current friends now maybe not being supportive or wanting to go out with a baby? If you can financially afford it, can juggle the career to give your child a good life, and think your ready than go for it! Good luck hope this helps!
I think you should have some fun first. Having a baby is alot of work. You may be ” finacially ready” with your career, but im sure your career takes up alot of time. Especially with touring and other things. I think you should think this over before you decide to do it. Go have fun. Dont have a kid quite yet.
It might be tough on the kid growing up without a father…. I don’t think its a great idea…. plus you are young and most likely are still exploring what you want to do with your life… I think having a baby would tie you down more than anything.
I do think its really gutsy decision. But i don’t think if you are only 18 you should go for single parenting.according to me just wait for another 2-3 yrs by that time you would be more mature and you can be really responsible and good mum. just give time to prepare yourself for it completely mentally, physically as well as economically.
take care. You are really brave girl.Good luck
How do you know it’s going to be a boy? You can’t chose the sex of the baby unless you adopted or have them seperate the X’s from the Y’s
If you have the money and the means to take care of the child then why not?